Unfinished/songs

Place for jotting down lyrics to songs in progress

Pull the Ladder Up

a "conservative" Christmas song

When the world is piling snow on everything in sight
It's so nice to know your parachute is safe and tight
Never mind the human race
You know you've earned your place
They deserve to freeze if they're sleeping in the streets tonight.

  Chorus:
    So pull the ladder up behind you this Christmas
    If you help too much then it shows you don't really care.
    Keep everyone in their place this Christmas
    'Cuz they make you feel higher up when they stay down there.

When Santa's bringing gifts to all the girls and boys
Make sure he's paid full retail for all those toys.
So some people are in need
Why not just let them bleed?
They could always come inside; they've made their choice.

With earnings you can hide, and poor people outside


Watching people freeze
Puts a great big smile on a job-creator's face


Give everything you can to your local retail chain

Gas was better when it wasn't safe, no matter what they've said
Don't let that socialist Santa Claus pry your guns out from your paws
For Christmas dinner this year everyone will have their fill of lead.

  Chorus:
    So pull the ladder up behind you this Christmas
    If you help too much then it shows you don't really care.
    Keep everyone in their place this Christmas
    'Cuz they make you look higher up when they stay down there.

    So pull the ladder up behind you this Christmas
    Keep everyone in their place for goodness' sake.

Untitled #1

(Sung kind of like The Ramones meet "Not Fade Away")

Now hush little baby, this won't take long

Mama gonna sing you a rock 'n' roll song

Gonna tell you all about the birds 'n' the bees

'N' the people who work for the record companies

Untitled #2

song I dreamed I was helping John Lennon record

Can we go back where we were tomorrow yesterday?
I wasn't finished wandering, there wasn't time to play
You say there's lots of work to do
And lots of bills to pay

Okay
We'll be back again
Some day

Can I have my feelings back tomorrow yesterday?
I really wasn't happy when you took them all away
I don't know where you've taken them
I really couldn't say

Okay
They'll be back again
Some day

Can we have the future back tomorrow yesterday?
I wasn't finished dreaming

Unfinished Parodies

Gray Christmas

I'm looking at a gray Christmas
Not like the ones we used to know
When the globe is warming
There'll be no snow forming
Just a winter mix to make the traffic slow

I'm looking at a gray Christmas
Not like the ones we used to know
Now the climate's changing
It's re-arranging
The jet stream, and what happens down below

I'm looking at a gray Christmas
Without a flake of snow in sight
May you enjoy December
As you remember
When all your Christmases were white.

D'Oh, A Goof

to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"

D'oh! - a goof, a major goof

Yay. - an apathetic cry

Gee... -

Blah - a day without much fun

Take a Nap on Me

a song for Pip

If I'm trying to work

And you know my lap is free

Though I'm quite busy

Take a nap on me

If you lay your furry head

So it's in the way

Then you'll be very sure

Nothing's done today

Be a Man

With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the grace of a drunk baboon
With all the sense of a roaring fire
Incisive as the sharp side of a spoon

With all the charm of a raging lawyer