TSA

This page is about the TSA, and the song which I wrote about it, which is called "I Love the TSA". I don't really love the TSA, that's just what I called the song, because it's about the TSA, and about my feelings towards the TSA, expressed in a suitably sarcastical-lyric format. (Which is why I call the song "I Love the TSA".)

Basically, ever since the TSA was created, they have been steadily ramping up the invasiveness and authoritarianism surrounding the process that airline passengers (and, bizarrely, crew -- including pilots) must endure in order to get on board an airplane.

It has become clear that these procedures are not only obnoxious and unnecessary, but also completely useless; a number of security experts have stated that these procedures would not stop an actual terrorist. My position on this matter is posted in more detail on Issuepedia.

• lyrics & chords
• video of demo performance on the Couch of Awesome

Monologues

beginning part

This page is about the TSA -- the Transportation Scare-ifying Authority -- and the song which I wrote about it, which is called "I Love the TSA". I don't really love the TSA, that's just what I called the song, because it's about the TSA, and about my feelings towards the TSA, expressed in a suitably sarcastical-lyric format. (Which is why I call the song "I Love the TSA".)

end part

Well as it just happens, as I was singing this song I was just kind of hoping that maybe, you know, someone who will be in an air-travel situation soon, or maybe you will be in an air-travel situation yourself, and the next time you're in a situation like that and you're in line at the airport, and the TSA agent comes up and asks whether you prefer being deep-fried or kneaded -- you can just sing "I love the TSA" to them, and walk out.

You know, if one person, just one person does it, they may think he's a troublemaker, and they'll charge him with creating a nuisance and put him on the no-fly list.

And if two people, two people do it, in harmony -- they may think they're both terrorists, and they'll arrest 'em both and hold 'em without charges for a week.

But if three people do it, three, can you imagine? Three people walking in singing a bar of "I Love the TSA" and walking out -- they may think it's an organization.

And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of "I Love the TSA", and walking out? And friends, they may think it's a movement.

And that's what it is: the "I Love the TSA" Anti-Mass-Screening Movement -- and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.

(with apologies to Arlo Guthrie)