Emoblog/2019/11/30/I need to talk, cont.

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I can't really tell the story of what happened on Monday without explaining a lot of background; I can't tell the story of what happened with Juniper without telling a lot of Harena's story. ...and the more I think about it, the more this draws in all kinds of stuff – all kinds of issues, all kinds of pieces of my experience.

It involves:

  • abuse
    • by a loved one
    • effects of
    • of loved ones
  • asexuality
  • chases
  • death
  • escapes
  • fencing (verbal)
  • fighting (textual)
  • giants
  • grief
  • hate (imagined)
  • hunters
  • lies
  • loss
  • marriage
  • mental illness
  • miracles
  • pain
  • parenting
    • as a parent
    • as offspring
  • passion
  • poison
  • polyamory
  • rejection sensitive dysphoria
  • revenge
  • snakes
  • spiders
  • sports
  • suicide
  • swordfights
  • torture
  • true love

I don't know if I'm equal to the task, but I'll see what I can do.

Also... an awful lot of what comes to mind is stuff that I'm reluctant to talk about because Harena might find them triggering. How do you talk about still deeply caring for someone who repeatedly hurt someone else you deeply care about?

(finished 12/01)

12/2 addendum

Apparently Mastodon munged the URL (left off the ending ".") when I linked this last night, so I'll take the opportunity to add a bit...

Harena says that I should be including myself among those who were hurt, but my point was more to do with it being difficult to do something that might cause someone else pain. If talking about something causes me pain, that's a choice I can make for myself; it seems much less fair to make it for someone else. ...but the alternative is to consult the people who might be hurt, and then I tend to just not say anything, and that's the problem.

I also felt like I should make it clear that the hurt... was felt on all sides, rightly or wrongly.