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see also: /MoG

Radar Lunch

actually wrote this years ago, surprised to not find it here

When I get hungry and I need something to munch
She takes a frozen meal and heats it up a bunch
We don't need an oven at all!
We... got a thing... that's called... radar lunch...

Harper Valley ISP

originally posted here

Well the note said "Mrs. Johnson, you're pullin' down data way too fast
It's reported you've been doin' lots of super-hi-def homebrew multicast
And we don't believe you oughta be a-usin' insecure technology."
And it was signed yours sincerely from the Harper Valley ISP

Morning Is Busted

Morning is busted -- and I ain't fixin' it
I cain't be trusted to get it right.
Pray it's in one piece
Pray I don't blow somethin' up
Pray there ain't flames goin' up in the night.

Mister Spam Man

Mister Spam Man -- sell me a scheme
Make me the heir of a Nigerian queen
And tell me that my mounting debt is over

Mister Spam Man -- give me a loan
For only $50, a million I'll own

So cook up your greatest scheme --
Mister Spam Man, sell me a dream!

D'Oh, A Goof

to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"

D'oh! - a goof, a major goof
Yay. - an apathetic cry
Gee... - I say, not quite a curse
Blah - a word without much fun
So... - I don't know what to say
Umm... - a grunt to follow "so"
See... - another ploy for time
And that brings us back to...

Take a Nap on Me

a song for Pip

If I'm trying to work
And you know my lap is free
Though I'm quite busy
Take a nap on me
If you lay your furry head
So it's in the way
Then you'll be very sure
Nothing's done today

Be a Man

With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the grace of a drunk baboon
With all the sense of a roaring fire
Incisive as the sharp side of a spoon

With all the charm of a raging lawyer

The Microbe Swims Tonight

This part written 2008-05-04

In the culture, the germ cell culture, the microbe swims tonight
In the culture, the active culture, the microbe swims tonight
(chorus) Amoeba-weh, amoeba-weh...

L-Y (real-life version)

This part written 2006-10-23

You're driving I-85
When you see your exit arrive
How do you change lanes as it goes by?
Dangerously... dangerously... dangerous, L-Y.

Spam in the Place Where You Are

This part written 2005-07-25

Spam! in the place where you work (file as junk)
Think about vacations in the sunny Bahamas, with
Spam! in the place where you live (empty trash)
Get a lower mortgage rate and wonder why you hadn't before

I Am Mr. Spock

On a planet dark and [...]

I have my phaser
And my nerve-pinch to protect me
I am shielded with my force-field
I do not feel emotion
There is none in my brain
Its utter lack of logic I disdain

I'm Mister Spock
I am a Vuuu...lcan

And a Vulcan feels no pain
On the starship Enterprise.