The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Celestial Firmament

Snippets

There is a theory that if the giant panda ever goes extinct, it will be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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"I refuse to prove that I haven't gone extinct," says the giant panda, "for proof denies bamboo shoots -- and without bamboo shoots, I am nothing!"

"Oh," says mankind, "but what about the fact that we cut down all the bamboo forests to drill for oil? That proves you have gone extinct, and therefore you haven't! QED"

"Oh dear," says the giant panda, and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy!" says mankind, and for an encore goes on to prove that up is down, the earth is only 6000 years old, and liberals are a threat to civilization.