Leviticus Helms/License to Clean

This was written by hand in my notebook; I'm still typing it in. --Woozle 22:26, 15 February 2008 (EST)

Intro

They say the world began as a giant molten blob, billions of years ago.

They say life began as a couple of molecules in the primal morass just happening to bump into each other in just the right way.

They say that life gradually improved over the eons by biting and scratching its way to the top, with the bigger and badder creatures surviving to pass on their genetic traits to their offspring, while the losers passed on into the graveyard of prehistory.

They say we humans got here simply by being the biggest, baddest, and most vicious creature of all.

Seems to me this makes us just a bunch of meaningless pieces of meat, eating or being eaten as we chase each other around and around in the little boxes we call our homes and offices.

Well...

I don't know about you, but that's not the kind of world I want to live in. I choose to believe in a better world, where we don't have to bear the guilt, and the responsibilty, for not making things all better, because we're all part of a bigger plan – where all the tragedies and stupid mistakes are just part of a higher purpose, in the biggest big-box business of them all, owned and operated by The Guy Upstairs.

That's the world I live in, and that's who I work for. I'm Leviticus Helms – Creationist Detective.