This Unit Must Die
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- parody of: "This Jesus Must Die" from Jesus Christ, Superstar by Andrew Lloyd-Weber
- by Woozle
- when: 1983-ish (before the first movie and the subsequent revival of the ST franchise)
Words
from James T. Kirk, Superstar by Andrew Tholian-Webber
The Bridge, Sunday MCCOY
- Good Captain Kirk -- the wargames wait for you
- Starfleet Command has got it in for you --
KIRK
- Ah gentlemen -- you know why we are here
- We've not much time, and quite a problem here --
OTHER SHIPS
- Stop firing on us please
MCCOY
- That blockhead Richard Daystrom sold this idea to Starfleet --
- A trick with multitronics -- and they think it's really neat!
BRIDGE CREW
- It is dangerous!
- It is dangerous!
OTHER SHIPS
- Enterprise -- don't shoot us up
- We'll have to destroy you if you don't stop
MCCOY
- That man on this voyage just might make it very short
SPOCK
- An inefficient mission that I think we must abort
BRIDGE CREW
- It is dangerous!
- It is dangerous!
SPOCK
- Look Captain Kirk -- Starfleet's said go ahead
MCCOY
- Quick Captain Kirk -- or else we'll all be dead
KIRK
- No wait! We need a less permanent solution to their problem...
SPOCK
- What then to do about this M-5 unit
- Explorer of outer space, hero of man?
MCCOY
- No plots, no adventure, no fighting like humans
KIRK
- Surely our show will go into the can.
MCCOY
- We dare not trust our ship to these devices
- This half-wit machine will get out of control
SPOCK
- But how can we stop it -- its power increases
- It's tapped all the circuits; it's taken our role.
KIRK
- I see bad things arising
- They replace our crew, Star Trek wouldn't survive.
- I see blood and destruction
- Our elimination because of M-5
- Blood and destruction because of M-5
CREW
- Because, because, because of M-5
KIRK
- Our elimination because of M-5
BRIDGE CREW
- Because, because, because of M, 'cause of M, 'cause of M-5
SPOCK
- What then to do about this Richard Daystrom?
MCCOY
- How do we deal with a thinking machine?
SPOCK
- Where do we start disconnecting the circuits?
- We're pursuing a wild goose, it's cut us off clean.
KIRK
- Uhura! Try contacting Starfleet!
- You probably can't, but you might as well try.
- We must turn this machine off
- So like HAL before him, this unit must die.
- For the sake of the Starfleet, this unit must die.
BRIDGE CREW
- Must die, must die, this unit must die
KIRK
- So like HAL before him, this unit must die
BRIDGE CREW
- Must die, must die, this unit must, unit must, unit must die!