Me/CV/corp

Woozle Nicola Staddon

Durham, NC — cv2019@woozalia.com

Executive Summary

How I can help you:

I design software/business systems and subsystems, either solo or as part of a team.
I can create documentation to any required level of detail. (I like documentation; it makes my job easier.)
I'm deeply into PHP and fluent in SQL (especially MySQL, though I have also worked with other variants)., with at least 5-10 k hours of coding time (best guess).
I am intimately familiar with Linux system administration, especially the LAMP stack^[1]
I typically learn new technologies by using them, so am willing to attempt whatever other tools you might need me to become familiar with; in return, I will let you know if I see any better options.

Immediate

Long-term

Workplace must be a safe space with a culture that is supportive of diversity and the practicalities of getting work done.
I enjoy making people's lives better by solving problems. I also like being paid a living wage or better. I am willing to do work that primarily benefits shareholders and therefore aids in the concentration of wealth, but it will cost extra.
- I will obviously want to know more about how your company or work is beneficial, how any profit is shared, etc.
I prefer to work remotely, but am open to other arrangements if there is a good reason for doing things differently.
I am not open to relocation on a permanent basis, though I might consider temporary relocation for a span of time.
Generally, I do not make or receive phone calls.Business communication belongs in non-ephemeral media. It may be nice to converse vocally on occasion, but this should not be the primary means of conveying important information or agreements.
No silly hoop-jumping, please.^[2]

These are not deal-breakers, but if they are a problem I will agitate whenever I bump into them:

I am allergic to BS, especially the authoritarian varieties.
No cube-farms, no compulsory meetings for no apparent reason, no power-games or headgames.
Must use good collaborative software (project management, wiki, chat, etc.) and have good channels of communication.
No deep/sacred hierarchies. No "performance"-worship. There must be respect for the long-term sustainability of the enterprise.
Needs and requirements for any given project, or the impetus for evaluating needs and requirements, must be stated clearly and must not arbitrarily change.

2018.05 - 2019.02 -- PaperDemon: creating and maintaining features for an art-sharing web site written with PHP, MySQL, and Smarty templates.
2018.01 - present -- hosting/maintaining toot.cat, a popular (1000+ users) Mastodon instance
2011.07 - 2014.11 -- Swashbuckler Interactive: creating and maintaining features fur multiple web sites in PHP and MySQL, often using Drupal.
2007.09 - 2010.04 -- ResearchBuy: created MediaWiki skin to match PhotoShop images, integrated with PayPal to support content paywall; web site maintenance
2007.09 - present -- Sage & Swift / Watts Grocery: network, web, email, and software maintenance for a catering business and a restaurant
1999 - 2001 -- Carrier Transicold: writing and maintaining business applications using MS Access, Visual Basic, MS SQL Server
1997 - 1999 -- Pierce Manufacturing: developing user interfaces in C++ for computer control of auxiliary systems in fire engines
1990 - 1991 -- Duke University: developing neural network simulations for natural language processing applications in Pascal and C++
1985 - 1989 -- Brown University: developing data collection and analysis programs in FORTRAN and Pascal for behavior research

A full history of my computing experience is here.

↑ ...though I'm still struggling with proper configuration of SMTP servers such as Postfix.
↑ Don't ask me to produce flawless code on a whiteboard or piece of paper. Whiteboard coding tests are silly and ineffective. I took one once, thinking it was just a basic test of familiarity with code – but apparently it actually mattered to someone that I made a syntax error. When writing freehand code. Seriously.