Unfinished/parodies: Difference between revisions

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[[category:lyrics]]
[[category:lyrics]]
[[category:parody]]
[[category:unfinished]]
[[category:unfinished]]
[[category:parodies]]
 
===About the Universe===
see also: [[/MoG]]
==Radar Lunch==
''actually wrote this years ago, surprised to not find it here''
<poem>
When I get hungry and I need something to munch
She takes a frozen meal and heats it up a bunch
We don't need an oven at all!
We... got a thing... that's called... radar lunch...
</poem>
==Harper Valley ISP==
''originally posted [https://toot.cat/@woozle/4000319 here]''
<poem>
<poem>
Facts are flowing out like endless rain 'cause I just make them up
Well the note said "Mrs. Johnson, you're pullin' down data way too fast
I blither wildly as I make my claims about the universe
It's reported you've been doin' lots of super-hi-def homebrew multicast
And we don't believe you oughta be a-usin' insecure technology."
And it was signed yours sincerely from the Harper Valley ISP
</poem>


My thoughts are tangled like a hopeless mess, I have no idea what I mean
Semi-obviously, there should also be "Harper Valley HOA" -- the material almost writes itself: "You're letting your grass grow way too high", etc.
And so I say whatever comes to mind about the universe


: Like a caaa-arr sales...man... omm...
==Morning Is Busted==
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
<poem>
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
Morning is busted -- and I ain't fixin' it
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
I cain't be trusted to get it right.
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
Pray it's in one piece
 
Pray I don't blow somethin' up
Never mind that bronze-age herdsmen didn't know a thing
Pray there ain't flames goin' up in the night.
beyond the patch of land on which they lived
much less about the universe
 
Never mind your scientists who look at evidence
My answers are in Genesis and what it says about the universe
 
: Like a caaa-arr sales...man... omm...
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
: Nothing's gonna change my mind
</poem>
</poem>
 
==Mister Spam Man==
===White Room at Tenagra===
(No specific lyrics yet; [[wikipedia:Darmok|this]] is just something that needs to be written...)
===Gray Christmas===
<poem>
<poem>
I'm looking at a gray Christmas
Mister Spam Man -- sell me a scheme
Not like the ones we used to know
Make me the heir of a Nigerian queen
When the globe is warming
[...]
There'll be no snow forming
And tell me that my mounting debt is over
Just a winter mix to make the traffic slow


I'm looking at a gray Christmas
Mister Spam Man -- give me a loan
Not like the ones we used to know
For only $50, a million I'll own
Now the climate's changing
It's re-arranging
The jet stream, and what happens down below


I'm looking at a gray Christmas
So cook up your greatest scheme --
Without a flake of snow in sight
Mister Spam Man, sell me a dream!
May you enjoy December
As you remember
When all your Christmases were white.
</poem>
</poem>
===D'Oh, A Goof===
 
==D'Oh, A Goof==
''to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"
''to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"


Line 66: Line 59:
</poem>
</poem>


===Take a Nap on Me===
==Take a Nap on Me==
''a song for Pip''
''a song for Pip''


Line 77: Line 70:
:Then you'll be very sure
:Then you'll be very sure
:Nothing's done today
:Nothing's done today
===Be a Man===
==Be a Man==
<poem>
<poem>
With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the spots of an aging liver
Line 86: Line 79:
With all the charm of a raging lawyer
With all the charm of a raging lawyer
</poem>
</poem>
==The Microbe Swims Tonight==
''This part written 2008-05-04''
:In the culture, the germ cell culture, the microbe swims tonight
:In the culture, the active culture, the microbe swims tonight
: (chorus) ''Amoeba-weh, amoeba-weh...''
==L-Y (real-life version)==
''This part written 2006-10-23''
:You're driving I-85
:When you see your exit arrive
:How do you change lanes as it goes by?
:''Dangerously... dangerously... dangerous'', '''L-Y'''.
==Spam in the Place Where You Are==
''This part written 2005-07-25''
:'''Spam'''! in the place where you work (file as junk)
:Think about vacations in the sunny Bahamas, with
:'''Spam'''! in the place where you live (empty trash)
:Get a lower mortgage rate and wonder why you hadn't before
==I Am Mr. Spock==
* '''parody of''': {{l/wp|I Am a Rock}}
<poem>
On a planet dark and [...]
I have my phaser
And my nerve-pinch to protect me
I am shielded with my force-field
I do not feel emotion
There is none in my brain
Its utter lack of logic I disdain
CHORUS:
I'm Mister Spock
I am a Vuuu...lcan
And a Vulcan feels no pain
On the starship Enterprise.
</poem>
==Misc.==

Latest revision as of 00:04, 2 April 2025


see also: /MoG

Radar Lunch

actually wrote this years ago, surprised to not find it here

When I get hungry and I need something to munch
She takes a frozen meal and heats it up a bunch
We don't need an oven at all!
We... got a thing... that's called... radar lunch...

Harper Valley ISP

originally posted here

Well the note said "Mrs. Johnson, you're pullin' down data way too fast
It's reported you've been doin' lots of super-hi-def homebrew multicast
And we don't believe you oughta be a-usin' insecure technology."
And it was signed yours sincerely from the Harper Valley ISP

Semi-obviously, there should also be "Harper Valley HOA" -- the material almost writes itself: "You're letting your grass grow way too high", etc.

Morning Is Busted

Morning is busted -- and I ain't fixin' it
I cain't be trusted to get it right.
Pray it's in one piece
Pray I don't blow somethin' up
Pray there ain't flames goin' up in the night.

Mister Spam Man

Mister Spam Man -- sell me a scheme
Make me the heir of a Nigerian queen
[...]
And tell me that my mounting debt is over

Mister Spam Man -- give me a loan
For only $50, a million I'll own

So cook up your greatest scheme --
Mister Spam Man, sell me a dream!

D'Oh, A Goof

to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"

D'oh! - a goof, a major goof
Yay. - an apathetic cry
Gee... - I say, not quite a curse
Blah - a word without much fun
So... - I don't know what to say
Umm... - a grunt to follow "so"
See... - another ploy for time
And that brings us back to...

Take a Nap on Me

a song for Pip

If I'm trying to work
And you know my lap is free
Though I'm quite busy
Take a nap on me
If you lay your furry head
So it's in the way
Then you'll be very sure
Nothing's done today

Be a Man

With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the grace of a drunk baboon
With all the sense of a roaring fire
Incisive as the sharp side of a spoon

With all the charm of a raging lawyer

The Microbe Swims Tonight

This part written 2008-05-04

In the culture, the germ cell culture, the microbe swims tonight
In the culture, the active culture, the microbe swims tonight
(chorus) Amoeba-weh, amoeba-weh...

L-Y (real-life version)

This part written 2006-10-23

You're driving I-85
When you see your exit arrive
How do you change lanes as it goes by?
Dangerously... dangerously... dangerous, L-Y.

Spam in the Place Where You Are

This part written 2005-07-25

Spam! in the place where you work (file as junk)
Think about vacations in the sunny Bahamas, with
Spam! in the place where you live (empty trash)
Get a lower mortgage rate and wonder why you hadn't before

I Am Mr. Spock

On a planet dark and [...]

I have my phaser
And my nerve-pinch to protect me
I am shielded with my force-field
I do not feel emotion
There is none in my brain
Its utter lack of logic I disdain

CHORUS:
I'm Mister Spock
I am a Vuuu...lcan

And a Vulcan feels no pain
On the starship Enterprise.

Misc.

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