Unfinished/parodies

see also: /MoG

Radar Lunch

actually wrote this years ago, surprised to not find it here

When I get hungry and I need something to munch
She takes a frozen meal and heats it up a bunch
We don't need an oven at all!
We... got a thing... that's called... radar lunch...

Harper Valley ISP

originally posted here

Well the note said "Mrs. Johnson, you're pullin' down data way too fast
It's reported you've been doin' lots of super-hi-def homebrew multicast
And we don't believe you oughta be a-usin' insecure technology."
And it was signed yours sincerely from the Harper Valley ISP

Self-Esteem: Social Network Edition

originally posted here

Went offline for the tenth time today
And practiced all of the things I should say
Trolls came back with their gaslight abuse
I 'pologized for my intolerant views

Now I know I'm being played
They press my buttons just like I'm an arcade
Back online I'm always off on this ride
But that's okay 'cause I like bleeding inside

Morning Is Busted

Morning is busted -- and I ain't fixin' it
I cain't be trusted to get it right.
Pray it's in one piece
Pray I don't blow somethin' up
Pray there ain't flames goin' up in the night.

Mister Spam Man

Mister Spam Man -- sell me a scheme
Make me the heir of a Nigerian queen
[...]
And tell me that my mounting debt is over

Mister Spam Man -- give me a loan
For only $50, a million I'll own

So cook up your greatest scheme --
Mister Spam Man, sell me a dream!

White Room at Tanagra

(this is just something that needed to be written...)

In a white room
In the winter
At Tanagra

Darmok and Jalad
On the ocean
In your dark eyes

That guy Temba
His arms open
Tired starlings

Back to Shaka
When the walls fell
In your dark eyes

(chorus)
I don't... understand... what you're try...ing to say
I get... all the words... but the sen..ten..ces.... don't make sense.

not used

Kiteo,
His eyes closed
His face black

D'Oh, A Goof

to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"

D'oh! - a goof, a major goof
Yay. - an apathetic cry
Gee... - I say, not quite a curse
Blah - a word without much fun
So... - I don't know what to say
Umm... - a grunt to follow "so"
See... - another ploy for time
And that brings us back to...

Take a Nap on Me

a song for Pip

If I'm trying to work

And you know my lap is free

Though I'm quite busy

Take a nap on me

If you lay your furry head

So it's in the way

Then you'll be very sure

Nothing's done today

Be a Man

With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the grace of a drunk baboon
With all the sense of a roaring fire
Incisive as the sharp side of a spoon

With all the charm of a raging lawyer

The Microbe Swims Tonight

This part written 2008-05-04

In the culture, the germ cell culture, the microbe swims tonight

In the culture, the active culture, the microbe swims tonight

(chorus) Amoeba-weh, amoeba-weh...

L-Y (real-life version)

This part written 2006-10-23

You're driving I-85

When you see your exit arrive

How do you change lanes as it goes by?

Dangerously... dangerously... dangerous, L-Y.

Spam in the Place Where You Are

This part written 2005-07-25

Spam! in the place where you work (file as junk)

Think about vacations in the sunny Bahamas, with

Spam! in the place where you live (empty trash)

Get a lower mortgage rate and wonder why you hadn't before

I Am Mr. Spock

• parody of: I Am a Rock

On a planet dark and [...]

I have my phaser
And my nerve-pinch to protect me
I am shielded with my force-field
I do not feel emotion
There is none in my brain
Its utter lack of logic I disdain

CHORUS:
I'm Mister Spock
I am a Vuuu...lcan

And a Vulcan feels no pain
On the starship Enterprise.

Hutso Goo™

Not sure if this qualifies as a parody, per se...

Wenna was a young bow
Acid poot away those yawn boy days
Not that I'm gettin' odor so much odor
All of aloes young bow ways

Whiff a gear lag you

...
Chorus:
Hutso Goo™
Camo Bay, be make it Hut, So, Goo
Suntan lung dawn fee lag a shoe
You mech it... Hutso Goo™.

Misc.

There needs to be a parody about the Dalai Lama called "Sacred Asian Man".

They've given you a ringer
And taken away your claim.