Community Standards

• parody of: "Personal Jesus"
• topic: Nymwars

Words

Our own... community... standards...
Mean that you can't choose your name
It must be the same...
Our own... community... standards...
We're sorry if the users object
We still are correct

Everyone knows that a pseudonym
Chosen on a whim
Makes a network grim
If you need a pseudo,
Then change your name to "Jane Doe".

Everyone who is pseudonymous
Is a threat to us
Nothing to discuss.
If a 'nym is your plan,
You'll turn us into 4chan.
Don't be a stranger,
Tough luck if you're in danger.

Reach out, get banned.

Our own... community... standards...
Tell us who's okay and who's not
It's all that we've got
Our own... community... standards...
It's the only way that we can tell
Who'll drool for the bell

Feeling alone 'cuz you can't conform
To the social norm
In your college dorm
Then you're a thing that we fear
We don't think you belong here

If the name that you use in our registry
Is not what we see
On your state ID
We know you're just a housepet
And you deserve what you get
We don't like a mystery
We want your credit history

Please be realistic -
You're a marketing statistic.
Bring us all the traffic
In your market demographic

Reach out, get banned.

bits that don't fit

Our own... community... standards...
Join us here and bring your friends
The fun never ends
Our own... community... standards...
All except the ones we don't like

If you get suspended
You shouldn't have pretended.

Civility is our main concern

Behavior doesn't matter
Just your wallet on a platter