I Love the TSA

Chorus:

I love the TSA

Yes I love the TSA

What would I do with all those rights anyway?

Oh I love the TSA

Semi-chorus:

I love it when they look at my shoes

So they can check them over closely for clues

That I lovingly crafted them with explosive glues

That's why I love it when they look at my shoes.

Their cute Gestapo uniforms are... so adorable

Their peremptory instructions are anything but ignorable

The way they glower is indescribably photogenic

The rays from their scanner's only slightly carcinogenic

They're trained in spotting terrorists at a glance

If one should happen by just by chance

Officer, come quick -- I think there's one in my pants

Grab it quick before it gets away

I love the TSA

I love being detained every day

They're only following orders, so that makes it okay

Oh I love the TSA

Now we should never ever let it be said

That they let power go to their head

'Cause who wants freedom when there's fear to be spread?

Give up your rights before they take them away!

I'm their biggest fan, as you can see

Our relationship was fated to be

They put their hands inside my shirt and really got a hold on me

The skies get friendlier every day.

I love the TSA

I hope nobody takes them away

They keep us safe from soda cans and bottled chardonnay

Yes I love the TSA

you know they're really only trying to save our lives

by keeping us from playing with knitting needles and plastic knives

if you're thinking nasty thoughts towards them, you should be embarrarrassed

and if you're singing this song, that only proves that you're a terrorist

Now remember this one thing before you make a remark

Or say something that possibly might be considered snark

For your own good, they might decide to take you away

Then you'll be stuck with a layover in Guantanamo Bay

I love the TSA

Yes I love the TSA

What would I do with all those rights anyway?

Oh I love the TSA