Emoblog/2017/12/10/not quite borderline

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The subject of borderline personality disorder (BoPD) came up, in relation to some of what I've been discussing here (feelings of emptiness, isolation, and so on).

On the one hand, there are some strong resemblances. On the other, there are some sharp contrasts.

BoPD Me
  • unstable relationships with other people
  • unstable sense of self
  • unstable emotions
  • Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)
  • Impulsivity and impulsive or dangerous behaviours
  • a feeling of emptiness
  • self-harm
  • extreme fear of abandonment
  • Symptoms may be brought on by seemingly normal events
  • unstable relationships with other people - not really? I have a hard time being emotionally stable for them, but I've never abandoned a friend or turned on them
  • unstable sense of self - sort of? I don't know who I am, but on the other hand I've always had a strong sense of justice.
  • unstable emotions - a bit... one minute I'll feel confident in my connection with someone, euphoric even... and the next I'll be paranoid that I've done something to drive them off
  • Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking) - no
  • Impulsivity and impulsive or dangerous behaviours - no; I tend to be a worrier
  • a feeling of emptiness - hell yes
  • self-harm - I've certainly been there; during the Jenny era I would hit my head against hard things, and afterwards I had a cutting phase
  • extreme fear of abandonment - see "unstable emotions"
  • Symptoms may be brought on by seemingly normal events - I have to think about this...

[WRITING IN PROGRESS]