Emoblog/2019/02/24/Grief II Journal
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08:42
I've come full circle to feeling this again, 35 yeas later.
Every time I try to resign myself to the new-old reality*, I come back to the thought that I've made a terrible mistake, that I shouldn't resign myself.
But I don't know what I could really feasibly do.
So many things are triggers now. Sitting down at keyboard, looking at Discord, looking at my phone.
It happened yesterday evening, so I guess this is Day 1.
Have I hit the bottom yet, or am I still falling?
*It's a new reality which is really just the old reality after falling down from trying to reach a better one. The worst part is that I thought I'd reached it safely.