Emoblog/2019/02/24/Grief II Journal: Difference between revisions
No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| Line 13: | Line 13: | ||
<nowiki>*</nowiki>It's a new reality which is really just the old reality after falling down from trying to reach a better one. The worst part is that I thought I'd reached it safely. | <nowiki>*</nowiki>It's a new reality which is really just the old reality after falling down from trying to reach a better one. The worst part is that I thought I'd reached it safely. | ||
==08:55== | |||
I thought maybe I was just being melodramatic when I said I didn't know who I'd be without her. So silly. I'll just be who I was ''before'' her, of course. | |||
Reality: I don't know who I am now. | |||
Revision as of 13:56, 25 February 2019
08:42
I've come full circle to feeling this again, 35 yeas later.
Every time I try to resign myself to the new-old reality*, I come back to the thought that I've made a terrible mistake, that I shouldn't resign myself.
But I don't know what I could really feasibly do.
So many things are triggers now. Sitting down at keyboard, looking at Discord, looking at my phone.
It happened yesterday evening, so I guess this is Day 1.
Have I hit the bottom yet, or am I still falling?
*It's a new reality which is really just the old reality after falling down from trying to reach a better one. The worst part is that I thought I'd reached it safely.
08:55
I thought maybe I was just being melodramatic when I said I didn't know who I'd be without her. So silly. I'll just be who I was before her, of course.
Reality: I don't know who I am now.