see also: /MoG
Self-Esteem: Social Network Edition
originally posted here
Went offline for the tenth time today
And practiced all of the things I should say
Trolls came back with their gaslight abuse
I 'pologized for my intolerant views
Now I know I'm being played
They press my buttons just like I'm an arcade
Back online I'm always off on this ride
But that's okay 'cause I like bleeding inside
Morning Is Busted
Morning is busted -- and I ain't fixin' it
I cain't be trusted to get it right.
Pray it's in one piece
Pray I don't blow somethin' up
Pray there ain't flames goin' up in the night.
Mister Spam Man
Mister Spam Man -- sell me a scheme
Make me the heir of a Nigerian queen
And tell me that my mounting debt is over
Mister Spam Man -- give me a loan
For only $50, a million I'll own
So cook up your greatest scheme --
Mister Spam Man, sell me a dream!
White Room at Tanagra
In the white room
In the winter
Darmok and Jalad
On the ocean
In your dark eyes
His eyes closed
His face black
His arms open
When the walls fell
In your dark eyes
I don't... understand... what you're try...ing to say
I get... all the words... but the sen..ten..ces.... don't make sense.
D'Oh, A Goof
to the tune of "Doe, a Deer"
D'oh! - a goof, a major goof
Yay. - an apathetic cry
Gee... - I say, not quite a curse
Blah - a word without much fun
So... - I don't know what to say
Umm... - a grunt to follow "so"
See... - another ploy for time
And that brings us back to...
Take a Nap on Me
a song for Pip
- If I'm trying to work
- And you know my lap is free
- Though I'm quite busy
- Take a nap on me
- If you lay your furry head
- So it's in the way
- Then you'll be very sure
- Nothing's done today
Be a Man
With all the spots of an aging liver
With all the grace of a drunk baboon
With all the sense of a roaring fire
Incisive as the sharp side of a spoon
With all the charm of a raging lawyer
The Microbe Swims Tonight
This part written 2008-05-04
- In the culture, the germ cell culture, the microbe swims tonight
- In the culture, the active culture, the microbe swims tonight
- (chorus) Amoeba-weh, amoeba-weh...
L-Y (real-life version)
This part written 2006-10-23
- You're driving I-85
- When you see your exit arrive
- How do you change lanes as it goes by?
- Dangerously... dangerously... dangerous, L-Y.
Spam in the Place Where You Are
This part written 2005-07-25
- Spam! in the place where you work (file as junk)
- Think about vacations in the sunny Bahamas, with
- Spam! in the place where you live (empty trash)
- Get a lower mortgage rate and wonder why you hadn't before
I Am Mr. Spock
- parody of: I Am a Rock
On a planet dark and [...]
I have my phaser
And my nerve-pinch to protect me
I am shielded with my force-field
I do not feel emotion
There is none in my brain
Its utter lack of logic I disdain
I'm Mister Spock
I am a Vuuu...lcan
And a Vulcan feels no pain
On the starship Enterprise.
Not sure if this qualifies as a parody, per se...
Wenna was a young bow
Acid poot away those yawn boy days
Not that I'm gettin' odor so much odor
All of aloes young bow ways
Whiff a gear lag you
Camo Bay, be make it Hut, So, Goo
Suntan lung dawn fee lag a shoe
You mech it... Hutso Goo™.
There needs to be a parody about the Dalai Lama called "Sacred Asian Man".
They've given you a ringer
And taken away your claim.