I Love the TSA

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I need to make a t-shirt from this or something while it's still legal.
I love the TSA
Yes I love the TSA
What would I do with all those rights anyway?
Oh I love the TSA
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I love it when they look at my shoes
(So they can) check them over closely for clues
That they're lovingly crafted with explosive glues
(That's why) I love it when they look at my shoes.
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(Their) cute Gestapo uniforms are... so adorable
(Their) peremptory instructions are clearly not ignorable
(Their) superior glower is indescribably photogenic
(And their) scanner's radiation's only slightly carcinogenic
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Any terrorist they'll spot with one glance
If one should happen by just by chance
Officer, come quick -- I think there's one in my pants
Grab it quick before it gets away
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I love the TSA
I love being detained every day
They're only following orders, so that makes it okay
Oh I love the TSA
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(Now we should) never ever let it be said
(That all that) power ever goes to their head
'Cause who wants freedom when there's fear to be spread?
(Give up your) rights before they take them away!
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I'm their biggest fan, as you can see
Our relationship was fated to be
(They put their) hands inside my shirt and really got a hold on me
The skies get friendlier every day.
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I love the TSA
I hope nobody takes them away
They keep us safe from soda cans and bottled chardonnay
Yes I love the TSA
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you know they're really only just protecting our lives
by keeping us away from knitting needles and plastic knives
if you're thinking nasty thoughts towards them, you should be embarrarrassed
and if you're singing this song, that only proves that you're a terrorist
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I love the TSA
Yes I love the TSA
Their vision is clear, because it goes all the way
Yes I love the TSA
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(Just re)member this one thing before you make a remark
(Or) say something that maybe might be taken for snark
(For) your own good, they might decide to take you away
(and) your next layover stop will be Guantanamo Bay
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I love the TSA
Yes I love the TSA
What would I do with all those rights anyway?
Oh I love the TSA
I love the TSA
We're the best of friends, what can I say?
"Security Agent Doctor" is the game that we play
Oh I love the TSA
I love the TSA
They're saving us from terror each day
They'll protect us even if they have to take us all away
Oh I love the TSA
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